Rewriting Your Experiences
Did you know there is so much power in rewriting your experiences? Yes, I mean in actually writing a different ending to the experiences that have shaped you and shaped your beliefs about yourself and the world.
As I pointed out in the post How To Rewrite Your Life, there are many ways to do this. For this post we’re going to focus on the idea of rewriting your experiences with a different ending, no matter what route you choose.
An Example From My Healing Journey
Here’s an example from my own healing journey.
As you’ll read in My Story, I was sexually abused as a child. Recently I was having a mixture of feelings that I couldn’t put my finger on. So I checked in with myself to see what was going on. I got by myself, closed my eyes, and let my mind wander to whatever past experience the feelings were connected to.
I remembered a time when I was a little girl swinging on our swing set outside. My dad was working in the garage and I could see him through the small window in the back wall. One of my foster brothers came out to the swing set, stood in front of me and asked me to do something inappropriate.
My fight, flight, or freeze response went into full gear. I remember looking at my dad through the window, desperate for him to come and save me, and at the same time terrified to refuse my brother and terrified to get in trouble with my dad if I did.
Since I could see my dad, the fear of getting in trouble won out and I said no. My foster brother asked again and offered to pay me. Again I said no. Again he offered and upped the price. All the while I was searching for a way to escape and desperately hoping my dad would see me in trouble and come out.
But he didn’t.
Rewriting Your Experiences with a Different Ending
Back to my adult self processing my feelings, I decided to rewrite this story with a different ending. An ending that gave me what I needed instead. I chose to type it on my computer, copy and paste the original, and then revise the ending. Here is my rewritten experience:
The third time he asked, I was staring at my feet, hoping he would just give up. I looked up one more time through the garage window, and this time my dad looked up from his workbench and our eyes met. Through that little window he saw the distress in my eyes. Immediately he came out of the garage and to my side and asked my brother what was going on. He told my dad a lie. I told my dad the truth. And my dad believed me.
He scooped me up in his arms and looked me in the eyes and said, “Princess, I am so proud of you. I want you to know that this was not your fault and I’m sorry it happened to you. I love you and I’m so proud of you for telling me.” Then he set me down and told me he would talk to me more later, but right then he needed to deal with my brother. And boy did he!
Rewriting the Experience Brought Out the Truth
I didn’t need to go any further in the story than that. I got what I needed. Instantly I felt a rush of love flow through me. I felt worthy of saving. I felt proud that I’d told the truth. And I felt protected.
Judy Carter recently interviewed humorist and storyteller Dylan Brody on The Power of Purpose Podcast. One thing he said jumped out at me more than anything else:
The whole point of writing is to get to the truth,
not to reveal the facts.
This is so true! Especially for those of us who are trying to become unstuck in our lives. When we rewrite, we are able to find the truth!
Rewriting Your Experiences Gives You Choices
Now let me tell you what happened after I rewrote this story and felt the rush of positive feelings. My mind immediately felt differently about the whole experience and I began to come up with other endings where I found my power. Like I started swinging higher and higher and kicked my foster brother clear across the yard with my feet. And another where I ran to get my dad. And another where I threatened him that if he ever bothered me again I was going to do something terrible to him in his sleep.
Do you see what can happen? Rewriting your experiences allows your mind to file it in a different folder and make new connections about the choices you have. And the more endings your mind thinks of the more empowered you will feel, and the cloud of gloom will lift from you.
Now, I don’t think of this experience with the fight or flight response going off in me anymore. I think of a loved little girl who was empowered, and that makes me feel empowered as an adult.
Have you rewritten a story in your life? Contact Me or comment below.
Links to Other Pages About Rewriting Your Life
There is Hope in Rewriting Your Life
How It Feels to Rewrite a Scene
